Perfect way to watch a movie.  (at Brooklyn Bridge Park)

Perfect way to watch a movie. (at Brooklyn Bridge Park)

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Hundreds packed into a lawn with room for dozens, watching Fantastic Mr. Fox outside.  (at Brooklyn Bridge Park)

Hundreds packed into a lawn with room for dozens, watching Fantastic Mr. Fox outside. (at Brooklyn Bridge Park)

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Of course a dog would park his cab in front of a fire hydrant. #onlyinnewyork

Of course a dog would park his cab in front of a fire hydrant. #onlyinnewyork

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Originally Posted By nickdouglas

The point of publishing is to make something public. You publish a book because you want to connect with an audience. If all you wanted to do was write, you would write in a journal and keep it in your nightstand.

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20 Twenties Tweaks: #17 - Shall We Wed? How to Propose Marriage to Your Partner
Ultimately any proposal has one goal in mind: we both want to get married. Her saying Yes is the intended and ideal outcome.
One has to be an optimist to believe in the idea of marriage in the first place, but you have to be seriously optimistic if you’re considering proposing. That brings me to the first, and biggest, part of any plan to proposing: be confident that she’ll say yes.
If for any reason you have reasonable doubt that she would not accept your proposal to marry then full stop right there. Work on your relationship; give it time. It’s like free throws in this way, you need be to shooting way over 50% and confident enough that the next one is going in, your team needs this to win the championship, be sure to have a steady hand.
This is all because even the most sure people planning to propose will be nervous. You’ll be nervous since the idea first ever creeps into your head and it’ll stay there through every step of the process. You think the person being proposed to looks happy they’re engaged? Look how relieved the person who popped the question looks - they’re done.
Simply put - Proposing is unnatural, despite how normalized and celebrated the act is in our society and culture. Spending thousands on a ring, a plan, and a hope is one thing and getting down on one knee to propose you both spend even more money on a wedding, then a house, then a pet, then a baby, then take care of each other until death is another thing. It’s crazy, awkward, uncomfortable, insane, and yes romantic. You will be nervous about asking if this means anything to you.
But you shouldn’t be nervous that she’ll say Yes. This proposal may come as a surprise to her but it shouldn’t be a shock. You would have been looking for the signs, the way you both had talked seriously about the future. The ways in which you feel like she’s given you The Green Light. Women, if you haven’t given a Green Light, whether that’s not so subtly dropping hints, talking marriage, or sharing how YOUR FRIEND got engaged and you liked this that and the other thing about how that went, then do so. Give a Green Light and then give him some time.
Because after a Green Light is received comes a Behind the Back conversation with her Best Friend. If you don’t know which best friend she intends for you to conspire the proposal with then maybe that’s a sign you don’t have a Green Light for Yes yet. (Pro Tip: if she was involved in a Behind the Back conversation about a friend’s engagement, maybe it’s that friend.) Talk to this friend, if they aren’t surprised you’re calling about this, if they’re genuinely excited, then you’re on the right track.
This friend will be your emotional support system and should build up your confidence that This Will Work. They’ll coach you on how to ask the parents. Basically, you should have a relationship with her parents already and know how they’d want to be approached, on the phone or in person. Do it.
Make small talk and get into the reason for the call. You love their daughter and want to make a life with her. Get their blessing. If they aren’t surprised or withholding, then that’s another good sign. My advice would be to ask if there’s a family ring you should use. Cant go wrong with a family ring.
Now you need a ring. Between her Best Friend and Mother (the two should also have an existing relationship) there should be a consensus on what ring to use. A family ring is sentimental (and free). A new ring is fine, if you’re confident in her jewelry style. She’ll be happy with any ring, but you want her to love the ring she’ll wear the rest of her life, so allow her the flexibility to settle on something different after proposing. If you already have strict specifics, follow them to the letter, may the jeweler have mercy on your budget. Make sure you have it sized to fit (ask the Mother) or just a little bigger, to be safe - you want that to fit around the finger in the moment.
Once you have the permissions/support, a ring, and the confidence of a Yes, then you need a plan. Because while this is a very private decision between the two of you, it will also become The Story she’ll tell over and over the rest of her life, for good or ill. So you want to give her a story with the proposal and that’s commendable.
The most important thing when planning the proposal is to make it representative of your relationship. It should not come out of the blue. Don’t do it at the beach if you never go to the beach. Don’t do it at a sporting event if she doesn’t like sports (or being the center of attention, or being peer pressured, or your team is losing, actually don’t do this at all). Don’t do it at an ice cream shop if you never get ice cream together. To thine own self be true. You get it.
Run this plan past the Best Friend. Pick a date, an upcoming event, but don’t be too obvious. Best if it fits into something you’d naturally be doing together, so the surprise stays intact. No one will want to spoil it, but it’ll be hard. For your own sanity don’t have it be too far off. Once you have the ring to hide it’ll burn a hole through you.
Confirm the plan closer to the date. It’ll give you the nerves to go through with it because you won’t want to let others down too (but trust that if it’s not feeling right you’ll back down and postpone the proposal, and it’s be for a reason strong enough to convince your support you were right). Don’t over-rehearse. Don’t try too hard. Save room to be in the moment for your moment.
Have a great experience with your potential future legal partner. When the time feels right, when it feels YOU enough, do the damn thing. Be nervous, don’t worry about having the words be perfect, but stick the landing.
Ask her. She should say yes if you’ve made it this far together. Celebrate. Relax. (Don’t worry about planning the wedding right away).
Breathe out. Relax.
*I’m posting daily one hack/tweak I’ve discovered and integrated into my life during the last decade as I lead up to my 30th birthday on the 28th. Here’s all of the #20sTweaks so far.
**PS - the photo is one that Lauren Farmer took of us after I proposed to Andrea on her old rooftop in Manhattan. It’s not an extremely accurate recreation, but a fun one nonetheless. Here’s that story.

20 Twenties Tweaks: #17 - Shall We Wed? How to Propose Marriage to Your Partner

Ultimately any proposal has one goal in mind: we both want to get married. Her saying Yes is the intended and ideal outcome.

One has to be an optimist to believe in the idea of marriage in the first place, but you have to be seriously optimistic if you’re considering proposing. That brings me to the first, and biggest, part of any plan to proposing: be confident that she’ll say yes.

If for any reason you have reasonable doubt that she would not accept your proposal to marry then full stop right there. Work on your relationship; give it time. It’s like free throws in this way, you need be to shooting way over 50% and confident enough that the next one is going in, your team needs this to win the championship, be sure to have a steady hand.

This is all because even the most sure people planning to propose will be nervous. You’ll be nervous since the idea first ever creeps into your head and it’ll stay there through every step of the process. You think the person being proposed to looks happy they’re engaged? Look how relieved the person who popped the question looks - they’re done.

Simply put - Proposing is unnatural, despite how normalized and celebrated the act is in our society and culture. Spending thousands on a ring, a plan, and a hope is one thing and getting down on one knee to propose you both spend even more money on a wedding, then a house, then a pet, then a baby, then take care of each other until death is another thing. It’s crazy, awkward, uncomfortable, insane, and yes romantic. You will be nervous about asking if this means anything to you.

But you shouldn’t be nervous that she’ll say Yes. This proposal may come as a surprise to her but it shouldn’t be a shock. You would have been looking for the signs, the way you both had talked seriously about the future. The ways in which you feel like she’s given you The Green Light. Women, if you haven’t given a Green Light, whether that’s not so subtly dropping hints, talking marriage, or sharing how YOUR FRIEND got engaged and you liked this that and the other thing about how that went, then do so. Give a Green Light and then give him some time.

Because after a Green Light is received comes a Behind the Back conversation with her Best Friend. If you don’t know which best friend she intends for you to conspire the proposal with then maybe that’s a sign you don’t have a Green Light for Yes yet. (Pro Tip: if she was involved in a Behind the Back conversation about a friend’s engagement, maybe it’s that friend.) Talk to this friend, if they aren’t surprised you’re calling about this, if they’re genuinely excited, then you’re on the right track.

This friend will be your emotional support system and should build up your confidence that This Will Work. They’ll coach you on how to ask the parents. Basically, you should have a relationship with her parents already and know how they’d want to be approached, on the phone or in person. Do it.

Make small talk and get into the reason for the call. You love their daughter and want to make a life with her. Get their blessing. If they aren’t surprised or withholding, then that’s another good sign. My advice would be to ask if there’s a family ring you should use. Cant go wrong with a family ring.

Now you need a ring. Between her Best Friend and Mother (the two should also have an existing relationship) there should be a consensus on what ring to use. A family ring is sentimental (and free). A new ring is fine, if you’re confident in her jewelry style. She’ll be happy with any ring, but you want her to love the ring she’ll wear the rest of her life, so allow her the flexibility to settle on something different after proposing. If you already have strict specifics, follow them to the letter, may the jeweler have mercy on your budget. Make sure you have it sized to fit (ask the Mother) or just a little bigger, to be safe - you want that to fit around the finger in the moment.

Once you have the permissions/support, a ring, and the confidence of a Yes, then you need a plan. Because while this is a very private decision between the two of you, it will also become The Story she’ll tell over and over the rest of her life, for good or ill. So you want to give her a story with the proposal and that’s commendable.

The most important thing when planning the proposal is to make it representative of your relationship. It should not come out of the blue. Don’t do it at the beach if you never go to the beach. Don’t do it at a sporting event if she doesn’t like sports (or being the center of attention, or being peer pressured, or your team is losing, actually don’t do this at all). Don’t do it at an ice cream shop if you never get ice cream together. To thine own self be true. You get it.

Run this plan past the Best Friend. Pick a date, an upcoming event, but don’t be too obvious. Best if it fits into something you’d naturally be doing together, so the surprise stays intact. No one will want to spoil it, but it’ll be hard. For your own sanity don’t have it be too far off. Once you have the ring to hide it’ll burn a hole through you.

Confirm the plan closer to the date. It’ll give you the nerves to go through with it because you won’t want to let others down too (but trust that if it’s not feeling right you’ll back down and postpone the proposal, and it’s be for a reason strong enough to convince your support you were right). Don’t over-rehearse. Don’t try too hard. Save room to be in the moment for your moment.

Have a great experience with your potential future legal partner. When the time feels right, when it feels YOU enough, do the damn thing. Be nervous, don’t worry about having the words be perfect, but stick the landing.

Ask her. She should say yes if you’ve made it this far together. Celebrate. Relax. (Don’t worry about planning the wedding right away).

Breathe out. Relax.

*I’m posting daily one hack/tweak I’ve discovered and integrated into my life during the last decade as I lead up to my 30th birthday on the 28th. Here’s all of the #20sTweaks so far.

**PS - the photo is one that Lauren Farmer took of us after I proposed to Andrea on her old rooftop in Manhattan. It’s not an extremely accurate recreation, but a fun one nonetheless. Here’s that story.

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Originally Posted By somuchlight

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Though come to think of it, I guess my biggest life hack—and this is the very first time I’ve attempted to use the phrase “life hack” in a sentence—is that my wife and I decided to live just a few blocks from where I work. We did this because of our dog. Since I spend at least an hour every night walking the dog, I didn’t want to spend another 60 or 90 minutes a day commuting. I don’t have the time. Like lots of people, I work long hours.

I’m Ira Glass, Host of This American Life, and This Is How I Work

I remember reading that commute time is the biggest difference in job satisfaction. I don’t have a child or dog but I do have lots of books to read and so I’m glad I’ve never had less than. 45 mins or so of travel.

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Editing a radio story goes like this: The reporter reads the script out loud and when it’s time for the quotes, we play those from the computer. Someone times how long the story is. We all take notes. If you’d stuck your head into the office, you’d see four of five of us scribbling away furiously and noting what we’d change.

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bechase said: Hey! could I read your thesis on Hunter S. Thompson?

Absolutely. It’s all uploaded, for free, as a PDF here: http://www.huntersthompsonthesis.com/

Keep in mind I wrote it 2005-2006 when there wasn’t much critical writing about Thompson’s writing, and before much of the personal content about him came forth. Enjoy! Mahalo.

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Tonight I went to McNally Jackson Bookstore in SoHo Manhattan New York City on my way home and heard Edan Lepucki read from her new novel California.

italicsmine is her tumblr name. @EdanL is her Twitter handle. EdanLepucki.com is her website.

If I weren’t on Tumblr I would have still heard about this book. It was “buzzed about” in publishing circles. It was notoriously withheld by Amazon as a part of their conflict with publisher Hachette. It was heavily promoted by Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report. And it’s part of the primary book club on Tumblr here.

And yet when I got to the front of the signing line at McNally Jackson, Edan recognized me, for no reason I could understand. She knew my name. She knew I was about to have a birthday. She was so already involved I felt as though I walked into an interview, or first date, or Internet club.

Then it hit me - I was a part of the same Internet club that Edan has been for years. And this relationship has only been building to this for years. It wasn’t as simple as putting it on my calendar and making a point to buy the book and get it signed (when oh so I would have wished to have already devoured this text by now) by the author, but she knew me and I knew her to an extent.

It was lovely. I wish her all the best and can’t wait to read her novel. And here’s (raising my glass as I crack the cover) to the new novelist 3.0, as we know and meet through Tumblr. Let’s be glad for that and make sure we keep reading (and buying) books.

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20 Twenties Tweaks: #16 - Bury into the Backlist (Why to Dig Deep)

Think about the first Tarantino movie you saw. Was it Pulp Fiction? I hope you went back and saw Reservoir Dogs.

My first Kevin Smith movie was Dogma (not a bad start!) but I’m very glad I went back and I saw Clerks. This idea of going back to an artist’s earlier work isn’t groundbreaking, but it felt that way to me then.

Marketing, to me, is telling people about something new. That’s it. So when I realized I’ve been doing something like this my whole life already, it fittingly became my profession.

And so the last 8 years I’ve been paid to push the new book but it didn’t take long before I realized that the last book was the reason the new book happened (with no disrespect to the new books who were worthy reading on their own, that’s just how publishing works). And it made sense to me.

Because no matter how much you care about that new book or author there’s a lot more to it than what you’re reading at the moment. There’s the backlist. It was a term introduced to me as I began to understand the publishing industry; it meant previously published. It was the books a publisher were still selling but not actively promoting.

When you’re finally out of college and have time to read books or watch movies, then you’re ready for the Backlist, just like I found myself in my twenties. There’s no more syllabus but only what you decide to pursue and at your own pace.

So to me the backlist was a gold mine. If it found Old Man and the Sea I then looked up The Sun Also Rises. If I found Women then I read Post Office. If I read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay then I found Wonder Boys.

When I found Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson, I’m glad I read The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved. I’m glad I read Hell’s Angels. I’m glad I studied his letters , his biographies. It all created the basis for what would become my thesis over two years of research and writing.

When most people find David Foster Wallace they are reading either A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again or Consider the Lobster, his two most famous non fiction essays. But if you take a step further and discover he wrote Infinite Jest and so much more amazing fiction, then you are blessed forever. You’re in the club. You went Backlist. (There’s also more incredible nonfiction writing, pick up a collection).

Think about everything you love, culturally, right now. I guarantee you didn’t start with those pieces. But you dug deeper and came up with those gems in the backlist. That’s what publishers, libraries, Netflix, and most content providers (like Marc Maron who offers the last 50 episodes of his podcast free but charges for the first 350 because he fucking worked for those and you pay if you want them).

So do it. Don’t stop at the surface. If you love something, dig to the bottom and enjoy the whole catalog.

*I’m posting daily one hack/tweak I’ve discovered and integrated into my life during the last decade as I lead up to my 30th birthday on the 28th. Here’s all of the #20sTweaks so far.

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Originally Posted By lauren

lauren:

Photo by my friend and the MS Expedition’s newest Photographer in Residence, Reuben Hernandez. 

It’s Lauren Farmer’s birthday today (but she’s far away from wifi). HBD LF!

lauren:

Photo by my friend and the MS Expedition’s newest Photographer in Residence, Reuben Hernandez

It’s Lauren Farmer’s birthday today (but she’s far away from wifi). HBD LF!

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Originally Posted By madeupmemories

30.

madeupmemories:

Every year (every. single. year.), I apologize for this. It’s self-serving, it’s stupid, it’s a time waste. But this year, I’m unapologetic, word to Rihanna. I learned to cook from 2 Chainz’ cookbook, where Step 12 was to “celebrate myself.” So that’s my MO from now on, that’s what I’m doing here. This year I:

Read More

Well done sir. Happy Birthday!

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Originally Posted By karion

karion:

Well, these are positively delightful.

Coffee correctness.

karion:

Well, these are positively delightful.

Coffee correctness.

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