HBO: Paying more for the obvious

If there’s one thing I’ve realized after many hours of repeated close
viewings, HBO is great television only because it points out the
glaring obviousness in reality. For example:

Tell Me You Love Me
Wow. Relationships are hard. Nothing can be more frustrating than
trying to have a baby for a whole year and failing when everyone else
gets preggers by accident; once sex becomes work and science (two
things I hate) it stops being fun and we can only hope that only
happens to people on tv. Also, white people love to whine, even when
they’re getting laid. Also, men and women are predictable; not a
stretch to have a woman write the show.

The Wire
Growing up broke on the corner is hard. So is being a cop, a
longshoreman, a teacher, or a politician. I never wanted to do any of
those things, except being an alcoholic and all those things.

Sex and the City
Women will always talk to each other about who they’re fucking, and
those characters are all secondary to the brunch they’re being
discussed during. Also, Carrie is the most overpaid one note columnist
ever. Plus, NYC is awesome because of the dozens of stereotypes you
can date there (including out of shape twentysomething ex frat boy
bloggers).

John From Cincinati
Surfing and magic will never be enough to carry a show past one season.

Curb Your Enthusiasm
Growing old doesn’t mean growing up. But it does mean having to be
funny enough to not be put in a home the second you retire.

Entourage
You have to be either very good looking or friends with someone who is
to make it in Hollywood. Also, any conflict in your life will resolve
itself in the last two minutes or serve as a very weak cliffhanger.
Sadly, a few guys watching this together is in fact gayer than the
same group watching SATC. I watch both.

The Sopranos
Being Italian is more than pizza, strippers, guns, and family
problems. Odds are your life will cut out at any time with no
resolution.

Flight of The Conchords
I could be infinitely more cool only if I had long hair, mutton chops,
an accent, guitar playing skills, and a LES one bedroom. Working on
that - I do have the lame/ironic animal sweatshirt though. Also, NYC
is awesome for having little adventures.

JT @ MSG
The only thing gayer than seeing the guy from Alpha Dog and “dick in a
box” perform live is watching a tape of the show on premium cable. In
HD.

Big Love
More wives doesn’t mean more sex, just more trouble. But less
housework. Hmmm.

Deadwood
Not about erection problems, surprisingly. But they do say “cock” alot.