I know from the moment my wife got pregnant that whatever was in her belly was going to fuck one day. And I knew it was a 50-50 chance it was going to be a girl. We’ve been trying to raise our kid as a lesbian, ‘cause men kinda suck, but she seems to like boys. What can I do? I was fucking by the time I was 12. Maybe she will be too. She’s genetically mine so she’s predisposed to act in the ways that I acted. I figure that my job as a parent, as a father, has always been to love her mother like crazy, so that when she jumps into relationships, or picks somebody to fuck, she’ll be like “I’m not going to fuck an idiot. I’m going to fuck somebody who treats me like a goddamn queen and writes on the Internet about how much he enjoys fucking me.