I feel like James Cameron has never met an actual person before. Titanic is basically a 3.5-hour-long Zales commercial, only slightly less emotionally compelling.

I Re-Watched Titanic So You Don’t Have To. You’re Welcome.

I remember seeing Titanic in the theater with my 6th grade friends. First, we were incredibly impressed with how long they showed a naked lady in a PG-13 movie. Second, I was impressed with how long the entire movie was in general (230 minutes!). Third, I got emotional about the ending when recounting it to my parents later that night (I was a sensitive kid, and in band, and the band played to their deaths on that ship. I didn’t like band that much). That is all.