Ladies, I can’t find JACK SHIT in your fucking handbags. Can I get you your Chap Stick? Hell, no. Finding a Chap Stick in that magician’s hat is like trying to find a dime at the bottom of the fucking Pacific. I know you womenfolk have lots of shit you need to carry around in a leather purse that’s insanely expensive despite doing nothing to enhance your physical appearance. But don’t go asking me to find shit in that. My wife asked me to find her phone in her purse once. It took me an hour.