Solidarity or Solitude?

I’m almost 24 years old and I have yet to convince myself that I can have as much or more fun by myself than with someone else. Growing up I always needed a sidekick, a teammate, a partner in crime, a companion for practically everything. I rationalize that I’m just merely a social person, that I need people - that’s why I love playing sports but hate running by myself or why I never play video games unless someone is there to play with me.

All of that changed when I came to New York and didn’t know anyone here. Life didn’t stop just because I didn’t have a friend to meet out. I saw movies solo, bar hopped by myself, bought one ticket for each band I wanted to see, and took to just wandering. It wasn’t as sad or pathetic as I thought it would be, but in two years of doing this I’m still not completely comfortable with just myself.

It doesn’t feel real when there’s no one else to confer with and reminiscing memories when you were the only there is no fun at all. But there are some people that seem to not only handle it well, but prefer it. Fuck that - give me my old college cafeteria where I could sit down at anyone’s table and feel welcome. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to improve on that point.