But everyone knows the real reason why NBC is acting like nobody in America gives a shit about hockey: Nobody in America gives a shit about hockey. In fact, hiding an important hockey game in the upper reaches of the channel lineup was the most patriotic thing NBC could do. Not caring about hockey is a cherished American tradition, up there with starting to follow baseball right before the playoffs and being vaguely aware of how your alma mater is doing in the NCAA tournament. Ever since early man fashioned mammoth tusks into hockey sticks and pushed a primitive puck across the ice, America has rolled its eyes and turned the other way. Plus, think of how much sweeter the victory is, knowing that 95% of Canada was desperately willing their team to victory, while most Americans browsed the Internet with one eye on USA’s Pirates of the Caribbean marathon—and our team still won!