THIS

If we stopped telling girls and women how to be What Guys Want (But Would Totally Never Tell You Because Ew, Feelings Are For Girls) and started telling them that what they want matters, that every sexual and romantic partnership from a hook-up to a marriage can be fantastic if you both want it and miserable if one of you really doesn’t, then maybe the ones who want relationships wouldn’t get stuck waiting for guys who don’t to fall for them. And meanwhile, the ones who enjoy exploring their sexuality more casually would be free to do so without being slut-shamed, and the ones who don’t want guys at all wouldn’t be erased from the picture entirely. If we encouraged girls and women to place real value on their own desires, then instead of hand-waving about kids these days, we could trust them to seek out what they want and need, and to end relationships, casual or serious, that are unsatisfying or damaging to them, regardless of whether they’d work for anyone else. (While acknowledging, of course, that to some extent, heartbreak and romantic regrets are an inevitable part of growing up.)

The thing is, if only one kind of dating “culture” is acceptable at any given time — whether it’s hooking up or old-fashioned courtship — then anyone whose desires don’t fit the mold will be left out. But if we teach all kids that there’s a wide range of potentially healthy sexual and emotional relationships, and the only real trick (granted, it’s a doozy) is finding partners who are enthusiastic about the same things you want, then there’s room for a lot more people to pursue something personally satisfying at no one else’s expense.

Read the whole thing. And then wonder why more people would rather talk about the damaging effects of this ‘hook-up culture’ instead of actually making navigating relationships about the two people involved. I’d consider myself a mild success as a parent if this was all that I was able to impart.