It was a calm day until Knox set fire to the Internets again. Lyrical arsonist!
You know, while we’re calling out young women who date older men:
* Short women who only date tall guys
* Useless women who only date rich guys
* High school girls who marry their sweetheart before the age of 22
* Married women. Period.
* Women who cry at night eating ice cream with a soup spoon not because guys won’t talk to them in general, but because they can’t get the top 5% of men in looks/money/charm to admire and emotionally connect with them.
* The specific type of career-focused women who don’t date men because it’s a distraction/impediment to work.
* Women who flirt with you, give you their phone number, and then never pick up the phone or return voicemails.
* Geek girls. I mean, come on, I worked so fucking hard to avoid being the sweaty, awkward guy in the Chewbacca costume at a Lucas movie premiere, only for you to decide that’s exactly what you want?
* Women whose libidos don’t respect the seasons or holidays. Hey, it’s your fourth consecutive single Valentine’s Day, why aren’t you having sex? Hey, it’s springtime, why aren’t you having sex? Hey, it’s your birthday, why aren’t you having sex? Hey, it’s MY birthday, why aren’t we having sex? Hey, it’s Halloween and you’re wearing half of a nurse’s outfit, why aren’t you having sex? Hey, it’s Thanksgiving and you’re stuck in NYC, why aren’t you having a little stuffing with your microwaved turkey? Hey, it’s Christmas and you’re standing under the mistletoe drunk on eggnog and wearing that Mrs. Claus-on-spring-break outfit, why aren’t you having sex?
* Women who have sex with you if you buy them coke. Damn you for making me have to think about decisions!
* Women who refuse to learn how to cook. At all. Which has nothing to do with dating. (I’d call out men for this too, but I don’t follow any home) I mean, Christ, you don’t even have fresh milk in the fridge? Not even soy milk? WTF?
* Women who date losers. He’s got ten other girls on the side and he steals cars. What a catch!
And so on. Flame away.
I’m not blaming women. There’s no easier way to guarentee going home alone than to think that women owe you something. I’m turning 24 on Monday. I’ve had fun, seasons in the sun, and all that but I know I’m capable of being a good boyfriend just like I know I can shoot a three-pointer - it’s just that I don’t often find myself on a basketball court with witnesses.
