Honorary Doctor of Divinity

As you may have seen, I’ve just recently decided I should be conferred upon a doctorate degree. But I won’t work for it. And just as Hunter S. Thompson mailed a five dollar bill to a “church” he saw listing such services in the back of a daily paper only to receive an official certificate making him a Doctor of Divinity back in the sixties, I turned to the internet today to do the same.

A quick Google search for “Honorary Doctor of Divinity" yielded these possibilities:

  • American Fellowship Church, offers the degree for $50. Yikes, but official looking…
  • Universal Life Church Monastery has a terrific looking certificate, with official handwritten calligraphy, starting at $30. Hmmm…. it even comes with their “educational Guide to Divinity”
  • First Church of the Gospel Ministry is showing 49 possible degrees/titles you can pay for…but they ask for a short “essay.” Ha! Website needs a designer, badly. It’s $20, by the way.
  • New Horizon Ministry is what I’m leaning towards. They even cite the supposed federal court case in their “stance" which gave them the rights to ordain anyone! You can apply free online, and if I’m ordained, I might be tempted to drop $15 on the doctorate certifcate.
  • Universal Life Church boasts a clip art certificate available for $99! Get out. “Computer Science course coming soon.”
  • Saint Luke has a guy doing the certificates for $40. Seems pretty steep despite the cool coat of arms design.

Well, I’m waiting to hear from NHM on the status of my ordination, which will allow me these privleges:

Title: Choose your own title which reflects your calling within the ministry; (Reverend, Pastor, Evangelist, etcetera.)

Respect: Earn the respect afforded to members of the clergy within your community.

Weddings: Perform wedding ceremonies in accordance to State/Federal laws.

Funerals: Perform funeral services for loved ones.

Ceremonies: Conduct religious ceremonies and share the Christian Gospel within your local community.

Prison Ministry: Gain access to prisons and jails to conduct worship services with inmates.

Earn Wages: You can charge a fee for the religious services that you offer to help fund your Christian calling.

Ministry/Church: Start you own ministry or church.

Tax Exempt Status: Apply for the tax exempt status with the IRS.

Sounds like a good use of $15. I just may spring for the $10 “Clergy ID” as well.

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  1. yuckytuna reblogged this from gin-boots
  2. gin-boots reblogged this from infidelectronic
  3. infidelectronic reblogged this from peterwknox and added:
    This is amazing. I must have one.
  4. peterwknox posted this
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