Post and let Post

[ed. note: this isn’t in response to anything in particular, it was just on my mind]

I’ve been on Tumblr for more than a year and a half and a human being for close to twenty five years, and only recently have I realized a significant shift away from negativity in my life, in general. I can’t pinpoint the exact turn, but I know it was almost a whole year ago when I subconsciously decided to stop getting upset about the stupidest shit and it has made the biggest difference.

Any regular reader of this site will attest to the fact that I stick mostly to the positive side of things, rarely posting anything negative about anything, but even I admit that complaining is inherent in human nature and sometimes fun. Everyone’s a critic, they say, and everyone has an opinion – that makes for a lot of noise. As has been discussed (especially here on Tumblr) ad nauseum, the internet is mostly full of idiots shouting their (oftentimes uninformed close-minded) opinions. That makes sense because there are millions of people looking for validation and community and sometimes there’s no stronger bond than two people with a mutual bone to pick with something they perceive as wrong, unjust, unfair, inappropriate, different, or douchey. (But if that bond is all you have, then you don’t have much.)

And yes, every so often they’re right. That person (celebrity/politician/businessman/anonymous poster/writer/etc) deserves (in your subjective opinion) to be taken down a notch and told what’s what. This, however, is usually done in the least constructive way possible and  then no-matter-how-right the commentator might be, they don’t come out of the mess vindicated, but vilified. The person being criticized usually gets defensive and continues on their destructive path, even more bull-headed and stubborn, just to prove their doubters wrong, and that isn’t good either. Neither person comes out ahead and everyone looks bad.

That itself isn’t news – we were taught this basic human code of conduct as kindergarteners. It started out as “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” then was adapted as we matured to “If you don’t have anything nice to say, phrase it in a constructive and positive way to bring about change to the situation, and if you can’t influence or change the situation, find someone that can or find a new situation and stop worrying about it” and then evolved with the advent of the anonymous internet to “If you don’t have anything nice to say, find a computer.”

At first it’s harmless, inviting even. Who wasn’t pissed off at Spielberg and Lucas for Indiana Jones 4? Can you believe Synder cut the SQUID out of Watchmen? Steve Jobs is god / Steve Jobs is a pompous idiot.  Obama is god / at least he’s not W. Bush – THAT guy was incompetent. Keanu Reeves CAN’T ACT. Kanye West doesn’t make music – he takes music. Burroughs/Sedaris/Fry/Max/Strauss are LYING in their books – take em to jail and persecute their fans! The Kindle SUCKS cause it doesn’t smell like books! Alba is hotter than Geller. [you get the picture…]

That makes sense – I get it. People that write books, make music, film and act in movies, run for office, do a job in the public spectrum, etc., are opening themselves and their work up to criticism, and despite 99.9% of their feedback (especially from the internet masses) being useless drivel, they depend on their congregation for continued employment (as in, you better listen to your customers or you’ll be out of a job). That’s why we have a voting populace, op-ed sections, book reviews, movie reviews, music reviews, product reviews, market research, polling centers, etc. (whether you personally assign each value, someone somewhere does) to perpetuate and keep such industries and positions in check.

Kevin Smith made a not-altogether-rare realization in a recent podcast where he was talking about Will Smith remaking The Karate Kid and the collective internet backlash, when he said that he didn’t care. Smith admitted that years ago he’d be up in arms, on the internet, bitching about the death of another nostalgic childhood film of his, but that now, today, he just doesn’t care. This point hit home for me: He won’t see it, but someone else will, and that someone else might enjoy it. Just because it’s getting made doesn’t mean he’s under any obligation to pay to see it, and in fact the marketing and advertising money will support some of the television and publications he does like, so it will end up only benefiting him.

And that’s how I find myself feeling about all the pop culture and politics we feel we have a right to discuss, debate, dispute, disparage, and destroy. It really doesn’t affect me. I have NO interest in anything related to the Harry Potter Franchise having never read any of the books or seen any of the movies. Sometimes the marketing gets to be too much for me, but I’ve never felt like I needed to put down the franchise (or the people that enjoy it) just because it wasn’t for me. Maybe I should be in love with it, but I’m not. However, I know lots of people that are, and that look forward to the movies and took time off to read the books. Those books kept the publishing industry afloat for several years, brought people into bookstores, and gave movie adaptations a good name. I can both benefit from and ignore the Harry Potter phenomenon at the same time, but any energy that I’d put towards ‘hating’ on them would be a waste and only serve to isolate myself from people that do enjoy it.

So I’ve taken a stance on such matters. I may not enjoy American Idol, but I don’t have to actively try to ruin it for the people that do – there’s no benefit in it for me, only negative consequences and waste of time/energy/reputation. I don’t want to be that guy. I certainly have opinions (many actually and strong ones at that), but unless someone’s asking me directly for that opinion, I don’t have to be spitting vitriol in their face. Having an opinion does not make you important or unique; rather, it does the opposite.

Those public personas and entertainment media we think we should be having opinionated discussion on are just the beginning, unfortunately. What I find to be an even bigger waste of time (and this is from a guy that LOVES talking about movies, music, books, etc.) is talking about non-public figures on the internet (and IRL). For a person you may or may not personally know that isn’t a celebrity, such discourse (whether positive or negative) has an even bigger effect on a much smaller scale. A celebrity/author/filmmaker/pundit knows they will be criticized publicly. That guy with that blog won’t have the same thickness of skin. Everything you say that they see (and don’t see) has an impact, whether they’re expecting it or not. I cannot imagine a less fulfilling activity than taking someone down on the internet. You’re ruining their fun whether you think they deserve it or not. Maybe you think they need to know just how annoying, naive, and wrong they are, but it won’t have that affect – at all.

And it’s with that philosophy in mind that I post what I want in the hopes that It’s enriching or enlightening someone’s life/day and ignore the rest because it doesn’t have an impact on my life at all. A Karate Kid remake is nothing to get upset about in the same way a douchey blogger wrote something dumb on their page isn’t either – no one is making you see either, and it’s a waste of time to dwell on the negative things in life when there are so many things you can make actual progress and change towards achieving. Staying positive on this blog (and ignoring the rest) might not make for the biggest traffic magnet, but that’s just another thing I’ve learned too – it doesn’t matter – and my life has never been better than when I can focus on what’s important and what’s good, what I can change and what I should ignore, and why bother endearing myself to the people that will only like me for disliking something else.

It’s not about what we hate, but what we love and want to share.